7 Heartfelt Lessons from Brooklyn on International Women's Day 2021
I don’t need International Women’s Day (#IWD2021) to recall one of the women who has had a profound impact on my life.
She passed away in 1994, yet to this day, I talk about and think about her. Every. Single. Day.
Her name was Nettie Freeman. My sisters and I called her "Mama." She was our maternal grandmother.
Mama was born in 1899 in Brooklyn, New York. She was married for 63 years (to the same man), had three children and nine grandchildren. She lived to see 12 of her 21 great-grandchildren. She died at the age of 95.
How would Mama, who had a high school diploma and never worked outside the home, be an inspiration for International Women’s Day?
- Mama had never been on an airplane.
- She never lived anywhere except New York, and a short time in New Jersey.
- So what could Mama have taught me about business and my career in the 31 years that we walked this planet together?
You see, Mama was not well educated, but she was very, very wise.
The lessons Mama learned during her life—and the ones she shared with so many people—are not contained in any textbook or college class.
She learned them by living life. And Mama often learned these lessons the hard way.
Here’s a sampling of Mama's wisdom and life lessons:
On Communication: “Know when to speak up, and know when to shut up.” Mama told me this when Andrew and I got engaged in 1988. I quickly realized that this sage advice applied outside the home, too.
On Working Hard: “What you put into the pot, you take out.” A nurse once commented to Mama that she was blessed to have so many visitors and such a nice family. Mama smiled, and replied, “What you put into the pot, you take out.”
On Building Relationships: “What can I give you?” No matter where she lived or how old she was, Mama always greeted people at her front door with these five words, “What can I give you?” This summed up the core of Mama’s life. She didn’t have money or diamonds; she gave of herself. Priceless.
On Emotional Intelligence: “They belong here, just like we do.” In the early 1950s, Mama’s street in East Flatbush, Brooklyn was abuzz with news that a “colored” family was moving in. The whispering began. What would Jews, Italians and Irish do with a black family on their turf?
The trepidation turned to excitement when folks found out the “colored” family was Jackie Robinson from the Brooklyn Dodgers.
Mama didn’t get involved with the gossip; she said what if people didn’t let the Jews and other immigrants into Ellis Island? Everyone belongs. They have a right to be here. And so do we.
On Budgets: “Save your money. Never have to hold your hand out to anyone.” Amen.
On First Impressions: “If you can’t afford a new outfit, always have a good coat and shoes. People see these first.” Perfect advice for interviews—and confidence.
On Storytelling: “One heart feels another.” When I would tell Mama that I loved her, she would often respond with this line.
And, Mama touched our hearts and sparked our curiosity through her stories and experiences. Mama understood the fine art of storytelling. Of connecting with people.
She spoke of when she advocated for her children in school.
When she negotiated the sale price on the new refrigerator.
When she sat on a jury and was offered a pocketbook by one of the lawyers. (No way....Mama could not be bought!)
Mama always pulled through when my sisters and I would ask to hear the story of how our oldest cousin Frankie broke his foot. Frankie—according to the lore—was 10 years old and was caught picking flowers in a neighbor's yard in Queens, New York. When the homeowner chased Frankie away, he tripped climbing the fence and broke his foot.
That night, Mama said, Frankie went to the circus with a huge clown shoe on one foot and a regular sneaker on the other. To this day, my sisters and I don’t know if this really happened. Mama could tell a tale in such a heartfelt way that it never grew old. It was riveting. It didn’t matter if the story was true or not. We hung on every single magical word. 🥰
I can only hope that I may have such a profound effect on my children and grandchildren that Mama has had on me.
Thank you, Mama, your loving spirit is alive and well, today on #IWD2021, and always.
(Photo: Me, Mama and Grandpa, 1970 ❤)
(Below: Me and Mama 1992-look at our hands. "One heart feels another.")
